


The Doctors Picnic

by markipwiwer



Series: Tumblr Requests [75]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Almost Cannibalism, Blood, Cute Doctor Boyfriends, Fluff, Gore, M/M, Picnic, but it’s cute I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 15:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16579076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markipwiwer/pseuds/markipwiwer
Summary: “if you're taking requests, maybe henrik (schneep) and edward( dr iplier) going on a cute date or something?? idk dude i just desperately need this ship in my life and i'll take anything”- bing-iplier





	The Doctors Picnic

“I swear, I didn’t pack this lunch. Whatever’s in here, it’s not my fault.”

Dr Iplier - Edward, as his friends knew him - placed the picnic basket down on the blanket next to where Henrik Von Schneeplestein, his coworker, friend and, most recently, date mate, was sitting cross-legged and waiting patiently.

Edward wouldn’t go so far as to call them boyfriends. That seems childish and silly and surely Henrik was above such things, and God forbid Schneep think Iplier was at all childish.

But maybe it wouldn’t have been too bad, because Henrik opened the picnic basket and burst into some strange laughter. It wrinkled his face, strained him, made his voice crackle a little, but God, was it pretty.

“This is utterly adorable, Ed. I assume this is Warfstache’s handiwork?”

Okay, if it was that easy to pick up on, it must have been weird. Edward furrowed his eyebrows before sitting down and scrambling to see what was in the basket.

Small cakes in the shapes of various vital organs. Little cupcakes topped with eyeballs. Candy canes that were painted as arteries. Sandwiches that, when opened, revealed brains. Scrambled and thin slices.

Iplier looked mortified, but then Schneeplestein snorted with laughter. And the way he said Edwards name, with that terrible accent... He’d have to thank Wilford later.

Finally, Edward shook himself out of his shock enough to comment on the edible goods.

“I don’t know if he actually baked all of this or if he magicked it out of nowhere. I don’t know which one scares me more.”

“He is an eccentric one, isn’t he? Not likely that he’d want to poison us, though. And those scrambled brains are looking rather appetising.”

Well, who was Edward to deny the man such a treat? Sure, Wilford wouldn’t poison them, but was it so outlandish to think it might be real brain?

As Henrik unwrapped his sandwich though, and Edward struggled to watch because it’s never the most settling thing in the world to see someone you have a crush on bite into human-looking flesh, the German took a bite, chewed and thought about it, and then giggled.

That giggle was going to kill him.

“Curried eggs! Of course! And he was surprisingly accurate about the texture too.”

Well, with that confirmation out of the way, Edward grabbed an eyeball cupcake.

At the bottom of the basket, Edward found what seemed to be a bottle of wine. Red, from what he could see. Although, when he picked it up, the contents seemed to slosh around in a strange way. Well, they might as well try it.

Once they’d had their fill of people parts, Edward took out the fancy little plastic cups made to look like wine glasses that Wilford had so generously provided. There were no candles, but the sun setting slowly and the landscape of the park was more than good enough for an ambiance.

The wine was... thicker than expected, and a strange tint of red. Not the usual almost-purple that a lot of reds were, but something more earthy. Edward didn’t think too much about it though, considering the fact that the rest of the meal had been fantastic. He poured out a glass for himself and Henrik, and they held cheers to each other before taking a sip.

Henrik immediately took a few decent gulps, whereas Edward just sipped. And when Henrik pulled his glass back down, Edward was... enamoured.

No. No way. He was NOT about to find the look of Henrik with blood on his face adorable, or worse yet, potentially exciting.

As it was, he was in too deep. Just a few dates in and he already got butterflies around the man.

Henrik licked his lips, but not before a drop escaped him and he had to wipe it with his hand, smearing just the tiniest amount across his face. Barely noticeable, just enough to taste...

“You’re staring, Ed.”

Edward once again forced himself out of his ridiculous, childish, love-struck haze before looking down at his drink.

“Don’t feel guilty, my good friend. I do appreciate the attention, to be completely honest.”

Edward looked back up at Henrik, a tad confused.

“You like attention from having something that looks suspiciously of blood on your face?”

Henrik grinned something wicked.

“Well, maybe not that specifically. But I do like your attention. It’s flattering, coming from such a looker as you.”

Damn it. Okay. Fine. Maybe he’d engage in a couple of surgical procedures with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Have you got an idea or a request for a fic? Come shoot me a message at markipwiwer.tumblr.com!
> 
> If you like what I do, please consider supporting me at www.ko-fi.com/markipwiwer!


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